Numero 3 is write a tutorial:
Being an excellent chef like myself, how about a tutorial for Thanksgiving dinner. So just say, "Mom, Gramma...fuck off.....I got this one."
Tutorial: How to make a great Thanksgiving Dinner:
1. Go to the store and purchase the following items: Large Turkey, Gravy, Cranberry Sauce (can form), Potatoes or Squash or Both, Pre-made Stuffing, 2 or 3 30 racks of either Milwaukee's Best or PBR, Green Beans, Pre-made Pie, and Fireworks(A trip to Indiana may be required).
2. Before Lions game make sure you are least half way through your first case.
3. Finish Case. Now you are ready to cook.
4. Start cooking prep, one hour before eating.
5. First, rinse and prepare green beans for steaming.
6. Steam Green Beans.
7. While beans are getting prepared, start your prep for turkey.
8. Punch a large hole into the turkey.
9. Insert, potatoes, cranberry sauce, squash, stuffing into Turkey. Insert a long, thick wire through turkey.
10. Set up a rack 18inches above ground, outside for the turkey.
11. Place Fireworks under grill rack.
12. Place stuffed turkey onto of grill rack.
13. Light fireworks. Because fireworks, like sparklers, burn at 2000 degrees C, your turkey will cook fast. Use wire to turn. Turn once after 10 minutes.
*you should buy enough fireworks to last 20 minutes or more.
14. While watching fireworks, finish 2nd case.
15. After firework cooking, your turkey should be nice, crisp, and tender with all of your fixin's cooked with it!!
16. Serve with Green Beans and pie.
2 comments:
hey doug, i followed your instructions...my family LOVED it. so thanks man! i wanted to send you this link 'cause i found it funny. don't take it the wrong way..i enjoy reading your posts on this. i just found it funny how this guy rips on those people who take blogging way too seriously. check out his other rants, they're funny as hell.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=banish
Dude, hell yeah, that recipe is delicious. i've been a fan of the bestpageintheuniverse for a while, but stopping checking on in about 4 years ago. he never posted very often, he's got some good stuff there.
keep the links coming, i never get enough of them.
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